When was the last time you looked deeply into the eyes of someone you care about, someone you cherish, someone you date… your lover – partner – husband – wife?
- What would it be like to treat yourself to such an intimate experience?
- Who comes to mind when you think of doing this simple exercise?
- Are you brave enough to share this Post and video with her or him?
- What do you need to take the initiative and invite him or her to stop clock time together, and just be present in total silence with each other for five, seven, or even ten minutes?
- Notice your resistance, your anxiety or your fear of doing so… and dare going beyond your comfort zone!
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Will your resistance, anxiety or fear win, or will you move through the initial discomfort?
Good! You decided to Just Do It!
Go ahead, invite the person you thought about, and treat yourself to this deep and intimate experience. See what happens!
- It might help heal old wounds and truly see each other’s humanity, again.
- It might help you rekindle the love that binds you both. The love that binds us all!
And yes, you might feel a bit silly or self-conscious at first for doing so. Roll with it! Silly can be fun!
Here’s how it goes:
- Turn all of your electronics and phones off. You don’t want to be disturbed or taken out of your experience.
- Set your phone alarm to the agreed upon time.
- Plan ahead so that the baby, the kids, the neighbors, the dog or the cat do not disrupt you.
- Sit close enough so that you can see your partner’s pupils effortlessly.
- If you don’t need to wear eyeglasses to see clearly the face and eyes of your person, take them off.
- Nothing in your hands or on your laps.
- No caps or hats, which would cover your face or bring shadows to your face or eyes.
- No small talk, at all. Just remain in TOTAL SILENCE for the entire length of time; that is the part which is not negotiable.
- Turn on your phone alarm and just be in you’re here-and-how, together!
- Just be and witness your thoughts, memories, emotions and feelings. No need predict what should happen, to make something happen, or to judge what is happening. Just let yourself be present to this moment as it is. Let emerge what ever emerges.
- As importantly, notice how it feels inside your body to be this close to your person.
- Just be together!
- Once your time is over, slowly and gently come back to “clock time”. Take your time to share your experience together.
- Once you are completed with this experience, do your best not to break away too fast from this very intimate moment.
How was it?
C. Nathan Bergeron, LMFT, L.Ac. ©