- What if you were better able to understand the underlying dynamics that activate arguments and conflicts, and bypass the blame game, the hurtful and destructive comments, as well as other behaviors that contribute in making your relationship less secure?
- What if you knew each other so well that in periods of stress, fear or anxiety you could support each other in ways that allow you both to feel connected and safe?
- What if your different personalities, points of view, and ways of going about life became a source of strength, instead of an ongoing reason to fight and argue?
- What if you could redefine your partnership in a new and creative way that allowed the two of you to create and maintain a deeper connection; all without feeling stifled or overwhelmed, abandoned or threatened?
While we communicate with our words, we also communicate through our body posture, tone of voice, rolling of the eyes, looking away, being distracted or checking out. These examples are a few of the many ways communication goes awry between partners, and make things worse.
Because our bodies communicate as much, if not more than our words, I do not get caught-up with the limitations of talk therapy only. When stress hormones hijack our brain, we loose our ability to remain resilient and emotionally receptive to others. Unfortunately, our mates are often the primary recipients of our dysregulation. This ends up damaging the safety of our attachment with the person we are committed to; keeping us in a negative loop of stress.
As a trained PACT couple therapist, I support couples in being better attuned to their partners’ nervous system and non-verbal language. I teach couples the skills they will use for the rest of their lives to effectively identify, and mend, the inevitable misattunements and misunderstandings every intimate relationship experiences at times. Our ability to regulate our own nervous system, and to co-regulate our partner’s, is at the heart of couples who are securely attached. Knowing how to read each other “owners’ manual” allows couples to maintain a strong “couple bubble.” One that allows couples to enjoy being with each other, feeling safe and cared for, and able to experience a thriving partnership.
By learning a new way to be a couple, to replace your need to be right by principles that foster secure functioning in relationship, you will re-discover, and deepen your connection with one-another.
Our work together will be multifaceted, interactive, experiential, and creative. It will be carried out with great respect for your past history, cultural heritage, learning curves and vulnerabilities. Whatever challenges your couple is facing, can be, if you are open to it, an amazing opportunity to take your relationship to the next level. I am committed to help your couple get there.